Up Hill Both Ways

Well Family, some unexpected events have happened this week.

So after an emotional two days of packing, cleaning, updating and goodbyes, Sister Clements and I picked up another Sister, and then drove down to San Antonio from Austin. I was the driver. It was POURING rain. We made it okay, and I God really does answer those prayers for safety.

So we got the the Stone Oak Chapel and loaded all my stuff onto the trailer, and then we headed down for the border. There were a lot of people that I knew heading down as well, so it was a good trip. We did drop off some Sisters, and then as we were moving back on the road, we got stuck in the mud. Because it has been raining all week here, the mud was extra sink-ish, and our huge 12-seater van and trailer sunk more than a foot down into the mud. After 8 Elders pushing, shoving, jumping and pulling, we called for help. The local ward mission leader came with his truck and cables to pull us out of the mud. As we were all watching one elder said "Now that's what they're talking about when they say the members and missionaries need to come together as one in this work!" We all had a good laugh.

 So we made it out and continued on. In Del Rio I found my new Companion, Sister Lund and the other Sisters we'll be living with Sister Clark and Sister Pond. We got all of our stuff home and I was unpacking things that night only to realize that I was missing one of my suitcases. Really? Now? After calling around and talking to the Zone Leaders a bit we found that it had made it's way back onto the trailer and down to Eagle Pass, and I won't be able to get it until November 15 when all the Zone Leaders meet for monthly Missionary Leadership Training (MLT). Cool. The things that were in it were not things that I really needed, but they're obnoxious not to have, like root pump, blow dryer, envelopes, etc...oh well. Embrace the flat hair I guess. It'll be under a helmet five out of seven days a week anyway. Yeah, I'm on a bike. All day, everyday. Except Tuesdays and Saturdays, then we get the car. I'm probably one of the only Sisters to get sick and have anxiety over riding a stupid bike, and I go to the ONLY Sisters bike area in the mission. You'd think that dad liking biking and all, I'd inherent something of that. I guess I got Grandma Troumbley's and Shar's genes more, because it's a huge stress factor in my day now.   Whatever God was trying to make of me by having me do this, I didn't want to do or be it. We got on the bikes 30 minutes later and I started singing primary songs. I got my gears figured out and it helped a lot to not feel like I was pedaling and steering air, but that I actually had some control over it. I don't know how I made it to that appointment.

Honestly, I didn't know how to get over this little curve ball that had been thrown at me, I wasn't worrying about Spanish at all now, I was just trying to make it to the next bend in the road without crashing and throwing up.

I've been studying every morning and praying the whole time for two days to try to figure out how to get passed these feelings of frustration, fatigue and stress. I read through the talks, "His Grace is Sufficient" by Brad Wilcox that dad suggested a few weeks ago and Elder Holland's talk this last conference "Like a Broken Vessel" trying to grasp onto some part of the Atonement to help me.

 My First night there I stood at the sink drinking a glass of water and thought, "What am I doing here? I want to go home."A paper taped to the front door then caught my attention, it read "DON'T QUIT." Yeah, I know. "it'll all be worth it, but right now it's hard."

 The Next day in Brad Wilcox's talk I read "God’s grace is sufficient. Jesus’s grace is sufficient. It is enough. It is all we need. Don’t quit. Keep trying. Don’t look for escapes and excuses. Look for the Lord and His perfect strength. Don’t search for someone to blame. Search for someone to help you. Seek Christ, and, as you do, you will feel the enabling power and divine help we call His amazing grace." I WAS looking for excuses. I WAS looking for a way out. I was backed into a corner, and now I had to decided if I was going to seek the grace of Christ.

 While studying I read Mosiah 3:7 which says "And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; for behold, blood cometh from every pore, so great shall be his anguish for...his people." Christ suffered these things before I ever did. And somehow, He was going to help me through it. So I got back on the bike.

Sister Lund has been a Godsend through all of this. She came out the same time that I did, and she will be 22-years-old on November 1st. She's been in all Spanish areas so far, and she's pretty good at it. She stresses out about things too, and she has real people feelings. She's a hard worker, and she wants to be a good missionary. She understands the factors of this anxiety, and she has been so good with me. She and I will stop and walk it when it's hard, and she talks and relates to me a lot. She's been so good to have here with me. She is an example to me of what a Christlike missionary is.

Saturday night Sister Lund and I got blessings from the Elders in our district. Her for stress, and me for, well, riding a dumb biking. In the blessing I was given, Alma 7:11 was actually quoted. I was told  that not only did Christ suffer for emotional, mental and Spiritual stress, but for physical stress. I have said it over and over again to people in lessons, but I didn't really "Get it" until now. Christ knows what it feels like to be exhausted and have jello legs and a sore behind after riding a bike all day. He knows what it feels like to have all nerves on edge while coasting down hill, feeling like I'm gonna flip the whole bike. He knows what it feels like to feel sick in the pit of my stomach feeling out of control while riding in the dark. He knows these things. He's felt these things so "that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."  Now, is it still hard? Yes. But is it getting better? Yes.

I don't claim to be able to be a professional biker, or that I now desire to be one, or even that I can ride up the hill both ways (don't ask me how both ways is up hill, it just is) and be fine. I can't. But his grace is sufficient. And as Elder Holland said " if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead." And so I'll drink it.

On the upswing, I can already tell my Spanish is getting better. I do a lot of the praying in lessons and was asked to bear my testimony in Sacrament Meeting. I forgot how to say "I say" (diga),  as in "I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ..." in Spanish, and so I just said "I say esas cosas en el nombre de Jesucristo, amen!" really fast so now one would catch my lack of Spanish Vocabulary. Sister Lund said that people probably didn't even notice. I was also told that I "sound like a Mexican" when I speak Spanish by a Less-Active women we met with. Cudos to me haha! My Spanish accent isn't half bad I guess :)

I've also switched my personal studies in to Spanish every morning. I feel like it's now time to really dig into this language. It's like being a fresh missionary all over again. Yikes this stuff is hard. Dad, keep the Spanish coming, it's good to have it!

I love and miss you all.   It's rough here, but it gets better. I'm learning so many more angles about the Atonement than I ever thought I could understand before. And all the edges are being more refined to me. It really all does come back to it.  It's made me understand more as well that sometimes God doesn't change our circumstances, but instead changes our heart. And "if the bitter cup doesn't pass, drink it."

Hasta la samana proxima mi Familia! Les Quiero muchisimo :)

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bike-peddling-Spanish-speaking-Gospel-loving-almost-20-year-old-and-half-way-through

Hermana