Not Waiting

Well. I would like to take this chance to write a little bit about why I decided to go on a mission, before I actually leave, to maybe get into the missionary mood. It still seems surreal. Let’s Begin.

I’ve always wanted to serve a mission. Even when I was a little girl I remember planning with my older sisters how we would sneak onto missions dressed as boys like Mulan did in the movie, if by the time we were old enough girls for some reason or another couldn’t go on missions. It was always just this huge desire that I had. But that was a long ways in the future, and I still had a lot of growing up to do. And so I waited.

And as the years passed and my sisters and I matured, somewhat, both of my sisters left on missions, and I desperately wanted to leave with them. It was almost an obsession how badly I wanted to go. But I still had almost three years until I would be twenty-one and old enough to go. Before my sister left in December of 2011, I talked with her about getting special permission to leave at nineteen, she said it wasn’t likely. And so I waited.

In April of 2012 I wrote in my journal about the need I felt to go to the Temple. In response I wrote “I mostly feel like I need to go to the Temple, which is crazy, because I would have to be getting married, or going on a mission. And neither of those things are in the near future. So what’s going on? I keep feeling like I need to prepare because I’m going on a mission soon. Maybe that’s just because I have two sisters out on missions.” And so I waited.

I started my third semester at BYU-Idaho and became involved and busy with my classes, work and friends. But still, I felt like I was just not doing enough, I was looking and waiting for something to come along, looking up study abroads and trying to find some greater work to do. Something that I could really throw myself into and make a difference, but nothing was really sticking.

The first week of October 2012, I watched and heard of friends from high school and college going through the Temple and leaving on missions, asking myself “why am I still here? I should be out with them.” Honestly, I felt jipped. And so I waited.

That week, while studying my scriptures, I felt very distinctly three different times, that I needed to prepare to go to the Temple. How was this going to happen? I was so confused, but knew I needed to look into things and ask questions, because I was given those promptings for a reason. But I didn’t know how to approach that situation. That weekend was General Conference, and I would be traveling down to Provo, Utah to be with my family. I decided to pray about these promptings and ask for a way to open up so that I could do what had been asked of me. I briefly brought up my situation to my sister, who was home on medical leave from her mission, the night before conference, and still I fell asleep more confused than ever. And so I waited.

The next morning as conference was starting, I was in the other room printing off bingo sheets for my younger brothers and sisters for conference when I heard President Monson start to talk about missionaries. As he started to talk about the age change for young men from nineteen to eighteen, I wasn’t even fazed. However, as I heard him say the words sister missionaries, I froze. This was important. It was at this point that the rest of my family started screaming for me to come back in the room, thinking that I couldn’t hear a word that was being said. As I went in and heard the announcement that sister missionaries could now serve  at age nineteen instead of twenty-one, I wasn’t shocked at all. In fact, I’ve never felt more at peace in my life. It was as if I was just being reminded of this announcement, almost like an “oh, of course. Why didn’t I think of that?” moment. Everything now made perfect sense. I would turn nineteen in twenty-three days, and I would serve a mission. No more waiting. 

Exactly four months later, to the date, I will be entering the Provo MTC to learn Spanish and serve in the Texas San Antonio mission.

Life is good.

And if anyone asks, I am excited. I'm scared and nervous and giddy and freaking out a bit, maybe a lot, as well. But, I’m not waiting.

This gospel is so precious to me, and I can’t imagine my life without it. It covers everything in our lives, and is always that foundation which I have built my life on, and been supported by. And everyone deserves  the chance to have that. That’s why I want to serve a mission. To spread the good news of the gospel with those around me. And now, I have that chance.

Bring on the next eighteen months.